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Complicated Lady

by The Harvey Girls

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1.
Cold Blooded 03:15
What was I thinking? I've watched the way you operate, shrugging your shoulders when the patient can't be saved. Burying what's left behind in a hole without a stone. Moving on down the next road -- you never like to be alone. Cold blooded, it's so easy for you now to walk away from every promise that you made. Cold blooded, do you feel the smallest spark? Or were you born this way, with winter in your heart. All the ones you left behind, and those you walk forward to A book of shadows none will read -- not even you. We saw your true face and draw it in the dark So like a flood, you rise upon us, leaving only your black mark. Cold blooded, it's so easy for you now to walk away from every promise that you made. Cold blooded, do you feel the smallest spark? Or were you born this way, with winter in your heart. Oh kindest mother, won't you light a way for us? Count out our sorrows and console our bitter loss. Sisters, forgive my pride, to think I stood alone -- truly loved -- when our bed was built of wreckage, blood, and bone. Cold blooded, it's so easy for you now to walk away from every promise that you made. Cold blooded, can you feel the smallest spark? Or were you born this way, with winter in your heart.
2.
You want pretty, un-self-aware prey to hunt and to slay -- that's not who I am, dear. You want innocence to corrupt dreams to interrupt -- you won't find them here. They were all lost long ago to men better than you'll ever know and I can't say at this point that I'm sad to see them go. No, the stars need not align. There's no love for you to find though you don't even seem to mind or notice it at all -- because if I'm your latest complicated lady the secret you keep shady know that my gold's been hidden deep and it was never yours to keep. Though you've been a bit of comfort a little warmth to see me through there's no end game, I'm unashamed of all those little dirty things we do. So go find some sweet Sally -- a simple girl to marry. Hide your flaming heart from her I promise I won't say a word.
3.
Daddy, o daddy, when you wanted me I was little and sweet, I was little and sweet. Now I'm bigger than the sun and I give off more heat and you're stranded at sea, you're aching for me. Daddy, o daddy when I needed you you never came through, you never came through. Now you're older than the Bible and the demons I slew while I prayed for you, and waited for you. But a funny thing happened on the way to your heaven -- it was taken from you, it was stolen from you. Now we've got a lot in common; it surprises me, too. I think you love me, I think I love you. It's a cold war peace we've brokered between us. We're diplomats from different pasts and both could be true. (Except for the part where no one believes us -- cause there's only one God, and for years it was you.) Daddy, o daddy when I lived with you I was bitter and bruised, thoroughly used. Now I eat bitches for breakfast and they go down so smooth but I still look for you, and hunger for you. Daddy, o daddy now you're all alone. The beautiful girls you loved are all gone. The boys you used to brawl, they've all moved on. Your sun is set, your little girl will never claim your throne. It's a hard won peace between a king and an exile. You're deposed, and I'm exposed in cold and hard lands. But when we talk late at night it's like a warming fire a language -- a love -- no one else could understand. Daddy, you want me, except when you don't. Daddy, I forgive you, except when I won't. Daddy, we're monsters, but we're broken by them, too. Daddy, you love me, just the way I love you.
4.
Hat low over your eyes, that big engine gunning -- I leaned into your window, I said baby why you running? Come on now, come on now. The river's calling like a town full of criers talking about my white dress and my belly beneath rising. Come on now, it’s our wedding night, wedding night. Walk now beside me in the woods soft and lovely, through the snow of the moonlight to the river deep and hungry. Walk on down, walk on down. Lay down beside me, say those pretty things you said, wrap your arms around me and I’ll make our wedding bed. Lay you down on our wedding night, wedding night. Silver the starlight threaded through the sky so dark. Silver my token buried deep inside your heart. Take it now, take it now. The vow you made me on another night so black took me from this river and now I will give you back. I'll give you now, give you now. I’ll take your son to meet you down by the water. He will never break a promise to another mother’s daughter. This I vow on our wedding night, wedding night, wedding night.
5.
Coy 02:52
Oh my stars and garters, what a sunny smile at me! It's a gray day in December but your shine is all I see. Good god you look delicious like a cupcake under glass with a sign that reads verboten but a price that's just been slashed. It's the dance we do that thrills me it's your every subtle ploy but it's time to own up baby you can't keep playing so damn coy. Oh you naughty baby you've tied yourself onto the tracks and you're screaming someone save me but today I'm dressed in black. So yes I'll pull your pigtail and dip the end into my ink just to write you filthy letters the kind that drive a man to drink. It's the look you throw that kills me you're just like a little boy but it's time to grow up baby you can't keep playing so damn coy.
6.
I don't like to be an obvious girl. I won't hang outside your house or hang outside my blouse. I won't giggle to my girlfriends every time you saunter by. I don't talk about desire -- I don't have that kind of time. No dares or spin the bottle; what's happening’s not a game. I sense your eyes all over me and know you feel the same. So why make a lot of small talk when there's other things to make? Why fake a bunch of bullshit when we've had all we can take? When I would crawl through glass for a little taste of you, walk through walls just to lay waste to you. I'm not your little kitten, no, my claw's too sharp and fat. I'll never call you baby cause you're too much man for that. No I don't need a drink, I like to think with perfect crystal clarity and fever speed of the dirty deeds I need you to do to me -- and all the pretty evil that I want to do to you like an angel with a flaming sword I'm gonna run you through. But I'm always dressed for church so you can take me home to mama, carry salts inside my purse in case there's any drama; I'm every inch respectable when that shit really counts, but when I get you back inside I'm gonna wear you out. Cause I would crawl through glass just to be a wife for you, walk through walls to make a perfect life for you -- where beds get made and bills get paid but nights when we're at home our lights and phones and clothes are off and we’re always alone.
7.
Undone 03:02
Find me quick daylight’s almost done tracks fade fast one rain and they’re gone Never asked for anything. I'm too fond of surprise Fast escapes and cutting strings Why walk when I can fly? lost in space your silence made I float to the sun drifting by and burning dry til we’re undone my heart is a broken cup [we feel the thirst but one is never enough] drain it dry and i am all undone call your wolves cover miles to me moonrise soon you know where I’ll be see me twist and dance in each shadow that you pass the flame in me burning free at last lost in space your silence made I float to the sun drifting by and burning dry til we’re all undone your heart is a broken cup [we feel the thirst but one is never enough] drain it dry and we’re all undone
8.
Faking It 03:07
They say fake it till you make it but what if you never do? And the world that you've been dreaming of stays hidden from your view. I was pretty, very briefly and monsters noticed, chiefly. And like shy pretty girls before me I escaped into sweet stories -- where the damsel's in a white dress tied up and in distress, but her wit's so sharp and clever she wins happiness forever. I learned to blot the world from view the awful things that people do the awful things they did to me the awful girl I / came to be. They say fake it till you make it so I pretended to be fine. But I could not sell the story it simply wasn't mine. Now it's a dress. that. won't. fit. but I must go on wearing it. There's no cash for other dresses I've made too many messes -- slept through all of the alarms burned through all of my charms and thought I had a good excuse but it's the kind that monsters use. So if my smile is somewhat brittle you see it matters very little. Everyone already knows I'm not the woman I supposed. They say fake it till you make it but what they never say is that fake things are cold comfort when dreams at last give way.
9.
No I can't stand to be so damn bitchy but your antics make me kind of twitchy all too clearly something strange and sketchy's happening here. No I don't want to cramp your swagger but when it's seven you start to stagger and on toward eleven you look so haggard I feel fear. A shot of regret, the scent of flop sweat as the evening keeps falling apart our friends, sympathetic or outright contemptuous their stares like a knife in my heart. Yes here's my thousandth stern iteration my bag's packed for an extended vacation I tell you firmly, with no hesitation I'm moving on. Then you grab my waist and you kiss me you taste like smoke and potent whiskey and drinking from you makes me so damn dizzy that I drown. A bite of despair, your hand in my hair as morning arrives like a freight train my steely resolve's melted into a blob and I'm certain I'm going insane. Then I awake and stare at you your sad, still handsome face knowing well that I must leave yet frozen into place. Oh I wonder where's my underwear should I leave you one last kiss? Oh I wonder whether if you'll ever love me -- love you -- love us more than you love this.
10.
Fly 03:38
Had a fat fly buzzing round my head. I waited till he landed on the window's edge. He delicately scaled the screen and danced along the ledge till I trapped him on the cold side of the glass instead. He buzzed around pointlessly and banged his head all day. I’ve killed half a dozen others of his kind this way. I'm a spider and this is my black web but it's not the only one that's hanging round your head. I sit in one room, you sit in another. Sleep with your back turned to me like a brother. When I call you on it you swear that you're going to change but you're crawling round the wrong side of a frozen window pane. Once you took me in your arms and there I flew. My soul was free but chose to be at home with you. Now I feel your hands on me but where are you? You've flown, moved on, you've long been gone, and I'm lost too -- until I find a random thread, and start to roll and weave. Unravelling the past, the heart I wear upon my sleeve. From them I make a story of a war with no reprieve that fills the sky with fire till there's no one left to grieve. But you don't want to hear it, you insist we're doing fine even as the ceiling caves with us still trapped inside even as the sun falls and the night is still as death even as the air thins so that you can't catch your breath. I take the sofa and you take our bed. Staring at the ceiling like a man already dead. Swear I hear you calling every time I pass your way but the signal's breaking and the words keep fading...
11.
I got what I wanted -- a quiet phone. The world's surprisingly amenable to leaving me the hell alone. They're just calls for appointments with counselors of grief. Doctors who discuss with you the beast that has me in its teeth. You're built for this, the long haul a walk along the Great Wall. It's a lie to say it's seen it from space. They tell it cause they fear the place. You're good at this, the hard vow. The promise you won't break now even though I'm broke in two. It's not what men who mean vows do. I got what I wanted -- a silent door. Even friends who love us don't come by anymore. I can't bear to let them see me with my weeds all overgrown. So you fill our rooms with music so I won't feel alone. You're built for this, the long haul. Collecting leaves as they fall to record my memories before they all slip far from me. You're good at this, the hard vow. The dream that lives on somehow in kingdoms that you build for me with words at last I can believe.

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Released October 28, 2014 on Circle Into Square (circleintosquare.com). You can order a limited edition vinyl copy here: circleintosquare.bandcamp.com/album/complicated-lady.

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released October 28, 2014

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The Harvey Girls Portland, Oregon

Melissa Rodenbeek and Hiram Lucke formed The Harvey Girls in August of 2003 in Lawrence, Kansas. The group combine the... melodies of bubblegum pop with experimentation in sound. Their music stands as a cross between Prince Paul's production work and the songs of the Shangri-Las. The couple moved to Portland, OR, in 2006 where they remain. Josh Millard joins the couple in their live shows. ... more

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